is your mom at the bar?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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