She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize