Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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