He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
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have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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