i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
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If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
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IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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