If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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