there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize