At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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