he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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