I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize