Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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