I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize