I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize