mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize