Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
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it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
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Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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