so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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