I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
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But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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