Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize