i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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