Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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