Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he fucked my hip out of place.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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