i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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