U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
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It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
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I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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