Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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