I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
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I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
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There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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