you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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