Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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