I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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