the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
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A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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