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There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
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