I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
...so i touched it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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