Screwed.edu
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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