a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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