Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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