so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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