We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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