The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Send help, water and tortillas.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize