If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize