i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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