I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize