I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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