Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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