I'm gonna have a badass scar
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
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If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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