but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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