dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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