i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize