Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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