Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize