I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
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Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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