Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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