I heard we made out
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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